Ciao Bella

Oh wait, it is.

Smh.

So i could barely sleep at all, when i finally could everytime id wake up sick and nauteous and hot and vomity. It was absolutely one of the worst nights of my life. I couldn´t think, couldn´t talk , couldn´t process. Last night was fun and for the first time like ever i had no shame and was completely confident in everything i was doing, but the aftermath was not worth it whatsoever. All i wanted to do was be home curled up undermy covers with my favorite stuffed animal and have my mom tell me everything was gunna be okay. As cliche as that sounds, i don´t care.

Well i could barely eat but i had breakfast at 430, cola-cao and cookies, and for lunch now at 7, i had pasta that my cousins and i made. Which by the way feel kind of like me but slightly better.

Tomorrow´s my flight home, and its bittersweet but i know im gunna take everything here ive learned with me and be a more resilient, self-relient, happier, more confident person. People have told me while ive been here that i look like i changed from when i left, i look happier, glowing even. And thats really good to hear. On the other hand, because im from here, in terms of face wise i look like nothing new. So i fit in more. But then again theres also the sheer fact that everyone here is as thin as a stick, and if youre bigger than that ( me) well thats not normal. Which i must say bothered me a lot while i was here, and thats one thing i miss about America, our appreciation for curves. Another thing here ill miss is how cool everyone thought it was to be from new york, its really cute. But something i know i def wont miss is the fact that people here have very large opinions, like they think everything in america is a conspiracy and they ask you about it like youre retarded for not agreeing with them. Example, Columbine, conspiracy, the 3rd plane in 9/11, conspiracy, and people as openminded as they can be, have little tolerance for darker people.

ANyways my rants over, and so is my trip here. I´m headed back to tia ali´s, packing my suitcase, and leaving everything i had here behind. Except hopefully, the new me.

Ciao bellas, for the last time.

So my last entry we went to the mercadillos, and i bought these really flowy harem pants that i love. Anyways my cousin and i and her friend went yesterday shopping because they wanted to bbuy their own hookahs, which are surprisingly cheap here, and they got some shoes and i got a dress thats more my style from home.

so last night was supposed to be the last hoorah with all the cousins, i figured since i was going to go back home and go back to being just regular old me i may as well really enjoy our last night out. I made some bad judgement calls, which i usually manage to steer clear of for the most part. And it was fun last night, we were having a ball at a salsa club and met some people from sevilla that chilled with us that night, but the night turned sour really quickly. First of all when i crashed in bed at 730 this morning (when we got home) i was regreting my decisions everytime id wake up, which was every hour on the hour until 330.

Anyways back to last night , while we were headed to the metro at 7 am, or earlier i dont remember, there was a massive amount of police with bats. Remember that radical group i told you about , 15M, the ones that have been holding rallies, living in front of the palace and walking from all over spain, yeah well them, who by the way for a radical group have been pretty tame, were the hit list of the police. and we were right in the middle of it. No we werent protesters, we were just kids trying to get home, but we were right in the middle when they were getting violent, and going into the self-made tents and making people leave. (which they let them live there for like a month). Anyways , it was pretty awful, followed by an awful sleep.

I regret my decisions last night, and after feeling completely and utterly horrible, it was a good reminder of why i am the way i am and why im good that way.

So i updated last nights, with very little info lol not too exciting, but today were going to the mercadillos which is like the gypsy stand you go and buy stuff for dirt cheap :D im excited and i think im gunna get my swooshy pants. (these really comfortable really low-set crotch harem pants) ill post em when i get em. Anyway im not sure what the day entails! I´m currently watching friends almost done with season 2 while my cousin and her dad are at mass. Idk i like going to church but mass here has never been my thing.

I´m obsessed with cola-cao btw, which is nesquik here, i drink it like every 5 seconds.

Well ill add more once the day goes on, ciao for now bellas!

Ciao bellas! So the song, its from an ikea commmercial! apparently theyre amazing here.

ANyways im going to keep watching friends, i slept for like 11 hours, and im on season 2 :D

Tonight im going with my younger cousin to pick up her friend and then all the primas are going out! Not as a last hoorah but as a pre-last hoorah.

Well ive nothing interesting to say until i update with photos later. Oh! Well theres this fruit here that ive never seen in the states that im obsessed with. Its called a paraguaya :D It looks like a flattened peach but tastes so much better. Anywhos, off to watch more friends, ciao bellas!

The commercial fyi is a woman saying to her neighors lets have a party, and the neighbors say everything is bad here the times are bad we cant have a party, and she responds but saying thats exactly why, i have a right to my party! idk what that has to do with ikea but i love the commercial. If i find the link to it ill post it! :D

• ****Hey so i saw kung fu panda last night :D and i liked it, and before that we took a spin in my cousins friends car and he dropped us off to have tintos de verano and dinner with my older cousin and her friends. Instead of a night out we did a night in and watched the movie because we were all super tired.

Ciao bellas! So after that rough two nights, i knocked out at 8:30 am this morning, woke up a few minutes before 3, and made myself my first fried egg all by myself and arroz con tomate with my prima (which is basically white rice with tomato sauce on top that i tried here for the first time and im now obsessed with).

Since spaniards have breakfast at 12, lunch at 3 or 4, then dinner at like 11 at night, that was my lunch, and im having dinner with my cousin maria and her friends from the park later. Im exhausted and half of me is exciting that im going home super soon because i miss my life there and most importantly my mom, but the other half of me wants to stay here longer because i know things are going to be super different when i get back, and i love how they are now. But i like that i came out here not knowing who i am and now i have a better sense, or at least im going in the right direction. Plus i miss going to church, a month in a place like this with no God anywhere, its hard to hold on to. Anyways idk where im going with this post but i hope this final week or whatever it is is phenomenal. And i hope i find what im looking for when i get back home. Ill fill you in later if my day gets anymore interesting.

Catch you on the flipside bellas

oh oh oh ! and theres this commercial here idk for what with a song that goes "tengo derecho a mi fiesta! " i love it! :D

• ***

So last night we went to De montaditos! which is like cien montaditos and omggggg i had the best baby sandwhiches and one with nocilla! (spanish nutella)

After we were taking pictures in the street lol and my cousin and her friends (which idk why 15 16 year olds have their own hookahs or hangout with 23 year olds) but we all went to a park and they were drinking and doing hookah, and i was , taking more pictures lol. But it was odd watching little ones try and be so adult. most of them smoke cigarettes btw, which is like watching a baby curse. Idk lmao anyways fun, and here´s fotos!

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